Lia Thomas is permanently barred from competitive swimming by the NCAA; she should try in a different sport.
Late-night icons Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert have been dropped by ABC, which said that “their spark has faded.”
Beyoncé’s application for membership in the Academy of Country Music is denied: “We mistook her for a joke.”
“Have Some Respect,” the Toby Keith song that Garth Brooks refused to play at his own bar, caused him to be heckled.