GI Bill Funds Veteran’s Hustlers University Stint with Andrew Tate
ZANESVILLE, OH—On September 12, 2025, Army veteran Doug Whitley gleefully revealed he’s using his GI Bill to bankroll a stint […]
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Emerald Fennell’s ‘Wuthering Heights’ Faithfully Adapts ‘Twilight’
LONDON—On September 12, 2025, director Emerald Fennell dropped a bombshell, vowing her Wuthering Heights film will be a scene-for-scene remake
Salmon’s Epic Swim for Love Mocks Dignity, Goes Viral
PACIFIC NORTHWEST—On September 9, 2025, a salmon’s manic, hundred-mile swim upstream to spawn has been branded the ultimate act of
DOGE Bulldozes Arlington Cemetery to ‘Boost Efficiency’
ARLINGTON, VA—On September 9, 2025, the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) unleashed a fleet of bulldozers on Arlington National Cemetery,
Trump Banishes ‘Phillies Karen’ to El Salvador Slammer
WASHINGTON, D.C.—On September 9, 2025, President Trump, in a gloriously over-the-top decree, exiled the notorious “Phillies Karen” to an El
NFL Sacks Refs for Daring to Let Chiefs Lose Opener
NEW YORK, NY—On September 9, 2025, the NFL unleashed a comical purge, firing the officiating crew that botched their sacred
Navy Parachutes Lawyer Onto Cartel Boat for Absurd Due Process
GULF OF AMERICA—On September 9, 2025, the U.S. Navy, bending over backwards to appease critics of its cartel crackdowns, airdropped
Colbert’s Dancing Vaccines Testify at RFK Jr.’s Senate Hearing
WASHINGTON, D.C.—On September 8, 2025, Stephen Colbert’s iconic dancing vaccines took center stage at a Senate Finance Committee hearing, testifying
Frankie Muniz Skipped ‘SNL’ for Amanda Bynes Crush
LOS ANGELES, CA—On September 8, 2025, Frankie Muniz shared a nostalgic gem on Joe Vulpis’ Lightweights podcast: at 14, he