LEAWOOD, KS—On August 28, 2025, a glassy-eyed Travis Kelce, 35, mumbled approvals as fiancée Taylor Swift showcased sparkly bow ties for their cat ring bearers. The Travis-Kelce-cat-ring-bearer spectacle, dripping with absurdity, saw the Chiefs tight end zoned out while Swift scrolled through sequined collars and tulle bandanas for her trio of feline aisle-walkers.
“Looks fine. Love it. Yep. Cats. Great,” Kelce droned, jaw slack, as Swift planned her pets’ wedding roles. “Travis hungry,” he blurted when asked which cat should be flower girl, sparking a Swift side-eye. For more celebrity satire, visit The Onion. Analyst Tara Kline quipped, “Kelce’s cat coma is peak wedding chaos.” Check updates at TMZ. At press time, X users memed Kelce’s blank stare into oblivion.