Hey, sorry to bug you while you’re in the middle of a Zoom call, but… have you seen my phone? I haven’t actually tried to find it yet, but I figured I’d check with you first—even though you’re clearly busy.
I don’t really need it right now. I just had a vague urge to know where it is. Maybe you’ll feel obligated to stop what you’re doing and look for it for me—even though you have no idea where I last had it. You seem great at finding my stuff for me, and I deeply appreciate your uncanny ability to spot objects lying in plain sight.
If you ask me whether I’ve checked somewhere obvious, I’ll say yes—even though I definitely haven’t looked anywhere. That’s just part of the ritual.
Also, I might throw in a random, baseless accusation—like checking my texts—even though I know you didn’t. Just keeping things spicy!
Look, I’m not accusing you of moving my phone… but if you did, could you admit it in a way that sounds like I’m not blaming you?
Honestly, helping me find my stuff is kind of a love language, right? I thought you knew that one of the pillars of our relationship would be you locating random things I’ve misplaced.
Anyway, never mind! It turns out my phone’s been in my hand this whole time. And oh look—it’s dead. You wouldn’t happen to know where my charger is, would you? Wait—scratch that—it’s in my other hand. Both things. Right here.
What are the odds?