Riley Gaines secured the final position on the US Women’s Olympic Team by defeating Lia Thomas.
In what bookmakers are dubbing the ultimate upset in women’s swimming, Riley Gaines secured the last available spot on the US Women’s Olympic Team by defeating Lia Thomas.
According to USWOT President Joe Barron, Gaines wasn’t initially under consideration until she requested a qualifying match against the other six contenders. With a letter drafted by her attorney, Ryan J Fish of Williams, Vanden, and Boom, the opportunity was granted.
“Ms. Gaines wasn’t content to sit on the sidelines; the only fair play was to get in the pool,” stated Attorney Ryan J Fish. Against significant odds, Gaines clinched victory by a margin of less than a second in the 10K Meter Quad Stroke. Barron commended her impressive perseverance, noting, “she never gave up.”
Despite ALLOD Forensic Journalist Tara Newhole’s investigation revealing potential fabrication in the story, it is deemed “plausibly true if you think about it.” Riley Gaines’ journey has elevated her to a status where acknowledging her for consistently making a 5th-place tie so noteworthy has become a bi-weekly occurrence. This trend is expected to persist until a new contender joins “The View.”
Cheers to you, Riley Gaines, with your distinctive eyes and remarkably small tuchus. You inspire us all to strive for better as Americans.
