Ozzy Osbourne Tells St. Peter the Satanism Was Just a Joke
PEARLY GATES — In a surprising moment at Heaven’s entrance, rock legend Ozzy Osbourne cleared the air with St. Peter, stating that all the Satanic imagery and theatrics during his music career were nothing more than a joke.
Witnesses say Osbourne, known for his shocking onstage antics and dark symbolism, wasted no time explaining that his macabre reputation was all part of the act.
“That Satan stuff — it was just performance, you know?” Ozzy reportedly said. “All the devil talk, the bats — it was just to grab attention, mate. A bit of theatrical flair, that’s all. Deep down, I’ve always been good with the big guy upstairs.”
Though his defense was passionate, St. Peter appeared uncertain. “He claimed he’s been a God-fearing bloke all his life,” said one angel. “But with all the demonic themes and head-biting, I think Peter’s still reviewing the case.”
Despite the confusion, Ozzy Osbourne has been granted probationary access to Heaven, pending further review.