WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA—On August 30, 2025, Vice President Kamala Harris was reportedly spotted sprinting from a swarm of international assassins after President Trump gleefully canceled her Secret Service detail. The Kamala-Harris-Trump-Secret-Service debacle, dripping with political absurdity, left Harris dodging shadowy hitmen in a high-stakes chase through Tinseltown.
“Trump pulled her protection? That’s a plot twist even M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t dream up!” crowed analyst Tara Kline. Sources say Harris, last seen vaulting over Hollywood Boulevard fruit carts, is now a fugitive in her own country. For more political satire, visit The Babylon Bee.
X users erupted with memes of Harris outrunning cartoonish villains, while Trump allegedly toasted the chaos with Diet Coke. Check updates at Politico. At press time, Harris was rumored to be hiding in a Malibu smoothie shop, plotting her next move.