LOS ANGELES, CA — In a dramatic show of support for Stephen Colbert, late-night host Jimmy Kimmel has pledged not to make any funny jokes until CBS reinstates The Late Show.
Kimmel made the solemn promise during a recent episode, claiming he will maintain a complete lack of humor until the network undoes what he called a “grave injustice.”
“I consider it a personal duty to remain completely unfunny,” said Kimmel. “When networks cancel comedy shows just because no one laughs and they lose millions, it’s time to take a stand. Colbert deserves to stay on air—regardless of ratings, relevance, or profit.”
Audience members reportedly applauded the announcement—conveniently timed with the studio’s automated “applause” sign lighting up.
Other late-night hosts, including Jimmy Fallon, have expressed similar solidarity. “We’ve already mastered the art of not being funny,” Fallon noted. “This protest won’t be a stretch.”
Meanwhile, millions of viewers proposed a unique compromise: pay all late-night hosts to stay off the air permanently in exchange for one year of salary.