Satire

“I Won’t Work With Rob Reiner” is Kevin Costner’s response to a $30 million movie deal rejection.

Approximately five minutes after Kevin Costner announced his departure from “Yellowstone,” he found his phone ringing incessantly. The actor shared with our reporter that the response was quite overwhelming, stating, “I anticipated receiving offers, but the speed at which they came was unexpected.”

Despite several enticing offers, including a leading role in a Rob Reiner film, Costner promptly declined the most lucrative one. He explained, “I won’t work with Reiner; all that Harvey Weinstein and Epstein Island stuff leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

Reporter Tara Newhole found the statement even more impactful when Costner repeated it in character as the head of the Dutton family. She remarked, “If he had added ‘you son of a bitch’ to the end, it would have been a genuine fangirl moment for me.”

Costner’s unwavering morals remain intact, especially after his previous relationship with Piper Paribo, whom he described as an “awful” partner. While acknowledging Paribo’s appeal in “Coyote Ugly,” Costner felt she fell short as an aging activist with an attitude problem.

Newhole expressed her disagreement, stating, “I loved her, and I think you’re a bit petty for siding with Beth, considering your own politics, mister.”

Nevertheless, Costner, now facing child support of over $63,000 per month, jokingly mentioned considering asking Paribo out for a date, noting, “She seems like a cheap date,” to a friend.

Paribo did not provide a comment on the matter.

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