Hey! Sorry to bug you while you’re clearly in the middle of an important Zoom call with your boss, but have you seen my phone anywhere? I haven’t actually checked the last place I left it yet, but I figured I’d interrupt you first. Priorities, right?
Even if you haven’t spotted it, I’m banking on my clueless charm and needy energy to motivate you to drop everything and start searching for me. You obviously have no reason to know where it is, but wouldn’t it be fun to stop working and join me on this mini quest?
I don’t actually need my phone immediately — I just felt a random urge to know where it is so I could ask you right now and again two hours later.
If you suggest a place to check, I’ll insist I’ve already looked there. But guess what? I haven’t checked anywhere at all. Ever.
You seem a bit irritated. Weird! I’m just asking a simple question during your busiest moment — what’s so annoying about that? But don’t worry, I’ll never bother you again with these small things… (Huge lie, of course.)
Oh, by the way, have you been snooping through my texts? No? Just checking. I like throwing that out there for fun.
I’m not accusing you of moving my phone, I’m just “innocently” asking in an extremely suspicious tone.
Honestly, I thought you’d love spending quality time searching for my stuff — you know, bonding time! I thought you knew that a key pillar of our relationship was helping me find things I’m too lazy to look for myself.
You’ve always been so talented at spotting items sitting right in the open on an empty table. It’s amazing! I’ve never been good at that. To be fair, I’ve never even tried.
I can’t believe you’re mad at me for complimenting your superior object-finding skills! Can’t a guy give his girlfriend a heartfelt compliment anymore?
Anyway, no need to keep looking. Just realized my phone has been in my hand this whole time. Oh — it’s dead. Do you know where my charger is? You didn’t steal it, did yo— oh wait, found it! It was literally in my other hand.
What are the chances? Classic me.