SANCTUM SANCTORUM — Doctor Stephen Strange has made known the startling revelation that across 14 million universes, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert bombs in every single one. The shocking announcement came after several fans of Stephen Colbert came to Doctor Strange for help when they heard the news that The Late Show was being canceled. These fans felt that since Doctor Strange was able to help humanity defeat Thanos in the Infinity War by looking into 14,000,605 possible futures in order to find the one good outcome where Earth's mightiest heroes would win, he might be able to do something similar to keep Colbert on the air. "I cast my consciousness into a fathomless ocean of alternate universes, each one different from the last," began Strange. "I'm sorry, but Stephen Colbert is not funny in each and every one of the 14 million universes I looked into. As unlikely as even I find that to be, in every universe I peered into, that show bombs and inevitably gets canceled." Experts stated that if Doctor Strange still had access to the Time Stone and could look into 14 million possible futures like he did in the Infinity War, it might be possible to construct a chain of cause-and-effect in which Colbert stays on the air but remains to be unfunny. In the absence of such an option, the best that the Sorcerer Supreme, Master of the Mystic Arts, and Architect of the Multiverse could do was cast a multiversal scrying spell and look across millions of alternate universes instead. These universes gave no signs of hope for Colbert Nation. "I'm sorry, but without the Time Stone, all I can do is see Colbert bombing across the multiverse. Again and again. Endlessly." At publishing time, Doctor Strange had retired to his Sanctum Sanctorum to pick up his mantle of Reality's Last Line of Defense as he shields the inhabitants of Earth from interdimensional horrors, cosmic imbalances, and a potential reality in which only GUTFELD! remained on the air.

Doctor Strange: Colbert’s Show Fails in All 14 Million Universes

Doctor Strange Says Colbert’s Show Tanks in 14 Million Universes

SANCTUM SANCTORUM, NY—Doctor Stephen Strange stunned fans by announcing that The Late Show With Stephen Colbert fails in all 14 million universes he explored. This revelation follows news of the show’s cancellation, prompting desperate fans to seek his help.

Colbert supporters hoped Strange, who once scanned 14,000,605 futures to defeat Thanos in Infinity War, could save the show. “I dove into countless universes,” Strange said. “Sadly, Colbert’s humor flops every time. His show gets canceled in each one.”

Without the Time Stone, Strange couldn’t check future outcomes. Instead, he used a scrying spell to view alternate universes. “Everywhere, Colbert bombs,” he added. Experts suggest that even with the Time Stone, keeping Colbert on air would still yield an unfunny show.

Fans mourn the loss of Colbert Nation. Meanwhile, Strange returns to defending Earth from cosmic threats. For more on multiversal tales, see Marvel Multiverse. Learn about late-night TV at Late Night History.

At press time, Strange feared a reality where only GUTFELD! survives on air.

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