WASHINGTON, D.C.—On August 22, 2025, tourist Stan Jacobs vented frustration when atrocities kept crashing his perfect Washington photo. The D.C.-tourist-atrocities-photo fiasco unfolded as he tried to capture a family moment.
“Hold your smiles—just wait for those soldiers to stop firing and climb back into their tank,” Jacobs urged, as National Guardsmen and FBI agents stormed the frame, attacking civilians. “Sir, could you brutalize folks a bit to the right? I need a fascist-free shot!” For more satirical news, visit The Onion.
Jacobs begged an officer to snap the picture, pleading, “No blood on the lens!” Analyst Tara Kline quipped, “His photo fail is peak D.C. chaos.” Check tourism tales at Washington Post. At press time, Jacobs struggled to crop out a soldier shooting him.