SOUTH BEND, IN—On August 28, 2025, local man Rob Woodham, 31, plunged into a hallucinatory abyss at Dave & Buster’s, only to be asked if it was his first visit. The Dave-&-Buster’s-insanity spectacle saw Woodham, dazed by flashing lights and clanging bells, unravel in a fog of cosmic lunacy.
“Menu, sir?” chirped a waiter, morphing into a top-hatted polar bear in Woodham’s fractured psyche. “Or perhaps our chicken wings—or the eternal serpent to cradle your soul?” Woodham, drooling and grunting, lost all grip on reality. For more absurd news, visit The Onion.
Analyst Tara Kline quipped, “Dave & Buster’s turned Woodham’s brain into a pinball machine!” At press time, a sweating Woodham, shrieking in arcane gibberish, tore off his shirt and fled. Check updates at HuffPost.