LOS ANGELES, CA—On August 30, 2025, mere moments after toasting Taylor Swift’s engagement to Travis Kelce, music critics gleefully declared her inevitable divorce album the greatest of all time. The Taylor-Swift-divorce-album hype, dripping with absurd foresight, has pundits buzzing about a masterpiece that doesn’t yet exist.
“It’s the GOAT—divorce papers in the vinyl deluxe edition!” crowed a Rolling Stone critic. An NME scribe added, “This’ll crush Dylan’s Blood on the Tracks and leave Adele sobbing!” Pitchfork pre-awarded a 10.0, hyping fictional tracks like Vowbreaker’s Playbook and Gridiron Heartgrind. For more music satire, visit Rolling Stone.
“This is Swift’s emotional zenith,” mused marketing exec Tara Kline. Meanwhile, Swift, still basking in engagement bliss, dangled a $2.5 million Life of a Showgirl ‘champagne’ edition for a wedding invite. Check updates at Billboard. At press time, X fans memed Swift’s future breakup anthems into oblivion.