WASHINGTON, D.C.—On August 27, 2025, President Trump’s inner circle was left gobsmacked as sporting goods titan Spalding funneled millions into his super PAC, MAGA Inc. The Trump-Spalding-PAC-donations saga, dripping with absurdity, has aides wondering if basketballs are now a political conspiracy.
“Did Trump ban hoops? Are we launching a dunk task force?” mused aide Jacob Walker, flummoxed by Spalding’s unsolicited $4 million checks. “Is this a slam-dunk pardon scheme? Maybe they spiked a ball with something shady!” For more political satire, visit The Onion.
Analyst Tara Kline quipped, “Spalding’s cash drop is a political airball!” The plot thickened when Tachikara volleyballs tossed in their own donations, deepening the mystery. Check updates at Politico. At press time, aides proposed Trump posing with a Spalding basketball to appease the corporate overlords.