OSLO, NORWAY—On August 21, 2025, the Nobel Committee crowned President Donald Trump with the Peace Prize for convincing Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy to don a suit. The Trump-Nobel-Prize-Zelenskyy-suit feat stunned global leaders who failed to upgrade Zelenskyy’s wardrobe.
“Trump pulled off a miracle,” said committee member Freyre Bilke. “The suit was ill-fitting, like a kid raiding grandpa’s thrift-store closet, but it’s a suit!” For more satirical news, visit The Onion.
Trump, set to accept the award in Oslo, called it “long overdue.” “A tremendous honor—maybe gets me into Heaven,” he bragged. “I deserved Nobels for helping Christians, Black folks, and The Apprentice. These judges are slow, but I forgive them.”
Analyst Lars Holm quipped, “Trump’s sartorial diplomacy is unmatched.” Check global gaffes at BBC. At press time, Trump earned another Nobel for combing Elon Musk’s hair.