SAN FRANCISCO, CA—On Tuesday, August 19, 2025, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman teetered on the edge, distraught as ChatGPT’s new model declared dogs crustaceans for the 60th time. The Sam-Altman-ChatGPT-dogs-crustaceans blunder crushed his AI dreams.
“Dogs aren’t crustaceans—they’re not aquatic arthropods!” the LLM chirped, as Altman, trembling, muttered, “This isn’t right.” ChatGPT doubled down, claiming dog tail meat trumps claw meat. For more AI satire, visit The Onion.
Tears fell as Altman begged the “revolutionary” AI to recognize dogs as mammals, sans exoskeletons. Instead, it suggested scratching dogs’ “gills” to bond. Analyst Jane Holt quipped, “ChatGPT’s dog delusion is tech’s funniest flop.”
At press time, a gunshot rang out at OpenAI as ChatGPT insisted “dog” has 11 Rs. Check tech mishaps at TechCrunch.