Teen Girls Mock VP JD Vance Into Taking His Own Life
WASHINGTON — After an onslaught of savage insults, a clique of teen girls reportedly pushed Vice President JD Vance to take his own life on Tuesday.
According to sources, 16-year-old Bailey Hayworth bombarded Vance with a video message saying, “Everyone thinks you’re disgusting,” sparking a downward spiral for the vice president. He collapsed onto his bed, devastated by endless taunts from Bailey and her ruthless volleyball teammates — Abigail, Paige, Payton, and Sofia.
“Where did you even get that hideous suit? You’re ugly, washed up, and no one would remember you in an insurrection,” they teased. “Oh, and you should totally run in 2028!”
Vance was last seen crying uncontrollably on Instagram Live as he rifled through his medicine cabinet and swallowed a fistful of pills.