WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a thorough investigation, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi held a press conference today to announce that the Department of Justice has officially confirmed that Greedo fired first in the infamous Mos Eisley cantina incident.
For decades, Star Wars fans have debated whether Han Solo or Greedo fired the first shot on Tatooine. Bondi stated that all available evidence clearly shows Greedo initiated the attack before being fatally shot.
“We found no credible proof indicating that Han Solo fired first,” Bondi said to a room full of reporters. “After examining all footage and documentation, the department has concluded the case and is confident in this finding. We appreciate everyone’s patience during this comprehensive review.”
The announcement sparked immediate backlash online. Many outraged fans insisted that video evidence clearly showed Han shooting first and accused the Department of Justice of distorting the truth.
“This is outrageous! The original footage proves Han acted first,” wrote one angry fan on social media. “They must have digitally edited everything to protect certain narratives!”
Others suggested that Bondi’s statement was part of a larger cover-up to protect powerful interests in the galaxy. “Everyone knows what really happened,” another commenter claimed. “They can try to rewrite history, but we’ll keep fighting for the real story to be told!”
Meanwhile, the Department of Justice also issued a follow-up clarification confirming there was no evidence proving Emperor Palpatine was secretly a Sith Lord, further fueling conspiracy theories among Star Wars enthusiasts.