Denis Villeneuve, acclaimed director of the Dune series, has officially signed on to direct the next installment of the James Bond franchise. But the big question remains: Who will take over the iconic role of 007? Sources say auditions are already underway, and a few strong contenders have emerged.
The Babylon Bee has uncovered a hilarious and surprising shortlist of potential new Bonds:
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Pedro Pascal: Producers insist he ditch his trademark wispy mustache before considering him.
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Timothée Chalamet: Some say choosing him would be a balanced middle ground in the ongoing debate over a female Bond.
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Idris Elba: A historic pick as he would be the first Bond hailing from Hackney, London.
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Ketanji Brown Jackson: Many joke she’s more suited to be Bond than to serve on the Supreme Court.
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Zendaya: The top choice for ticking the most diversity and inclusion boxes.
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Shohei Ohtani: He pitches, he hits, and now he might charm as 007.
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George Takei: “Oh my!”
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The Babylon Bee’s own Travis: Promises to get in shape just like Chris Pratt did.
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Jack Black: Controversy would vanish after his first-ever James Bond musical number.
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Rachel Zegler: Expected to refresh Bond just as she “reimagined” Snow White.
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Bob Craig: Daniel Craig’s son — he was born for this role.
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Air Bud: There’s no rule that says a dog can’t be Bond!
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Jeb!: A surprising return to the public eye for the Bush family member.
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Andy Serkis in motion capture: His body would mimic Sir Sean Connery, but Chris Pratt would provide the voice.
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A Corporate Memphis-style illustration of a one-legged nonbinary Muslim: Played by Andy Serkis, showcasing his range.
All these candidates have their merits (or at least entertainment value). Who do you think should step into Bond’s tux next? Share your top picks in the comments!