In an intimate ceremony surrounded by a fleet of private jets, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez exchanged vows in Venice, Italy — vows made entirely of their staggering net worth figures.
“1-3-9-0-3-4-4-6-0-0-0,” Bezos tearfully recited, revealing the cash he keeps on hand.
“1-5-3-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0,” Sanchez whispered in reply, to loud cheers from guests, as she detailed the couple’s combined value in stocks and investments.
Attendees, including the Kardashians (allowed despite only being multi-multi-millionaires), gushed about Bezos flying the wedding rings over in a separate private jet.
After the vows, Sanchez stunned guests by appearing at the reception in a new, custom-made face, crafted by one of Beverly Hills’ top surgeons.
The celebration ended with an extravagant fireworks show, capped off by a Blue Origin rocket blasting into the North Star, creating a breathtaking display over Venice.
Locals had opposed the wedding after Bezos spent millions remodeling the church dome to resemble his own head, turning a historical landmark into a personal monument.