TEHRAN — While the world anxiously awaited Iran’s ominous warnings last night, the Ayatollah surprised everyone today by revealing that the “surprise destined to be remembered for centuries” was actually the amount he saved on car insurance after switching to GEICO.
“The historic savings on my premiums will be remembered forever,” the Ayatollah declared. “As the Jewish devils and the Great Satan America continue their persecution, our foremost duty is protecting our people’s lives. Meanwhile, I just saved over 15% by bundling my home and auto insurance with GEICO. Thanks to GEICO, and death to Israel and America.”
Israel admitted to being stunned by the Ayatollah’s impressive insurance savings. “We really didn’t see that coming,” said a Mossad agent speaking anonymously. “Saving that much in just fifteen minutes is truly astonishing. And thankfully, it’s car insurance and not a nuclear weapon. We remain sworn enemies, but good for him.”
At press time, the Ayatollah was reportedly so delighted with his GEICO savings that he was considering adding a motorcycle insurance policy as well.