LOS ANGELES, CA – In one of the most head-scratching celebrity stories since someone tried to list the Hollywood sign on Craigslist, actress and activist Alyssa Milano has allegedly gotten herself into trouble for attempting to “rent” a hitman for the weekend. Authorities emphasize that Milano wasn’t plotting anything nefarious—she apparently believed that contract killers were bookable like Airbnb stays.
A Case of Mistaken Booking
Sources say Milano landed in hot water after submitting a request on “Rent-A-Hitman.com,” a known parody site that has tripped up more than a few real-life would-be criminals. Reportedly, Milano filled out the request form in full, complete with ideal dates, target details, and a request for an “eco-conscious” operation to reduce environmental impact.
“She even selected the ‘discreet service with satisfaction guarantee’ option,” an LAPD officer noted. “We figured it was a joke until she emailed asking if she could extend the reservation for a long weekend.”
A Misunderstanding Gone Viral?
Her legal team insists the entire ordeal is a major mix-up. According to Milano, she thought the service was similar to TaskRabbit—but for fun, spy-themed parties.
“I thought it was like an interactive experience—like escape rooms meet espionage,” she explained. “I had no idea people took it seriously.”
Despite the seemingly innocent confusion, investigators are treating the case with caution. Police claim she inquired about package deals, tried to use a podcast promo code, and even asked about installment plans and unionized employees.
“At one point, she wondered if there was a family-friendly option in case she brought her kids,” a detective said. “That’s when we realized she was completely lost.”
Hollywood Weighs In
The news sent ripples through the entertainment industry. Reactions varied:
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Rosie O’Donnell tweeted, “And this is why civics education matters.”
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Sean Penn vowed to “look into it deeply,” but only after “a smoke and an existential crisis.”
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Chris Pratt tweeted, “LOL.”
Meanwhile, insiders claim Dancing with the Stars is already eyeing Milano for its next season—assuming she stays out of jail.
Moving Forward
Now out on bail, Milano says she plans to use the ordeal to promote digital awareness. She’s calling for clear labels on parody websites to prevent “accidental felonies by unsuspecting celebrities.”
As of press time, she was reportedly exploring a site for sword-fighting classes and asking whether ninjas could be hired for birthday parties.