Satire

A few hours after Hillary criticizes the “Barbie” snub, an apparent suicide Oscar statue is discovered dead.

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Shortly after Hillary Clinton criticized the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for overlooking Barbie in their nominations, the film industry faced a shocking event as the renowned Oscar statue was discovered dead in an apparent suicide.

Detective Bob Sparks remarked, “This tragedy caught everyone off guard.” Responding to an anonymous call about Mr. Oscar’s potential mental and emotional distress, officers found him hanging from the ceiling upon arrival. Despite attempts to revive him, their efforts were unsuccessful, and no further details are available at this time.

While the investigation was ongoing, authorities indicated that all signs pointed to Oscar taking his own life. Unfortunately, the security footage in the auditorium at the time of the incident was destroyed.

Close associates of the Oscar statue noted no prior indications or warning signs leading up to his unexpected death. “He appeared content and had much to live for,” mentioned one friend. “I never suspected he would resort to this. It doesn’t make sense.”

At the time of publication, a police department spokesperson had just announced the discovery of a journalist, who inquired about any potential link between the Oscar statue’s suicide and Hillary Clinton, also found dead in an apparent suicide.

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